Approved and Waiting.....

This approved and waiting thing is making me crazy.  The only way I can describe it is it feels like everything is on hold.  I mean after all we've gone through the past 9 months, now we're to the point to where we're suppose to just hang out and relax.  IMPOSSIBLE!! I've found it extremely hard to get back into the groove of our normal life, prior adoption that is. I haven't grocery shopped or cooked at home much because when we had all these things we had to do to get our home ready for the adoption, often times we'd eat out somewhere and come home to get busy again.  My cleaning schedule is off, we have laundry running out of our ears and everything is just in disarray.  Prior to waiting, our weekends were full of things to do to and appointments to get to all for the sake of making a home for them and now we're just....HERE!  Of course we have the fundraisers to keep us busy for the moment but when those come to a close and we're still not matched, what then?  To be honest, this whole entire process has completely changed the dynamic in our home and Bobby and I are just existing to get to the next moment in our journey which is completing our family. We are both so excited for this new chapter of our life to begin but at the same time we have absolutely no control on when the page is going to turn; only God knows that.  If there's anything that we've gained from going through our walk this far, it has been an abundance of faith, a new found love for each other, and love for two little children that we don't even know yet.  Just today I was driving down the road listening to some music that is close to my heart, singing at the top of my lungs when all of the sudden it was like I could see our little girl in the rear view mirror singing at the top of her lungs with me!!  Man tears just started streaming down my face and I realized there wasn't anymore sound coming out of my mouth.  I know that sounds bizarre but these moments are happening again and again and again and with that happening, it's just not possible to turn around and pretend life is as it was before.  Nothing is as it was, it's all changed and I'm not sure what to do with that.  Regardless that we haven't found them yet, Bobby and I now carry a parents heart and like it or not, life will never be the same.  Maybe it's time for us to adopt a new "normal" because the old normal just simply doesn't work anymore. 

Please keep us in your prayers.