24/7

Mothering the broken never stops. 

Sometimes all you want is a quiet, uninterrupted meal. Hello drama, my old friend. 

Sometimes the nap you need is interrupted by stomping and clapping because they will not be ignored. Or damn the fact that dad says, "Be quiet and let her sleep..." now they have to see how much noise they can cause to stir the pot.

Sometimes all you need is a little assistant to help with fixing things. "Here, hold these screws and don't drop them..." turns into a game of lost and found, on purpose.

"Have a good day at school" turns into, "Mom, you'll probably get an email..."

Sometimes you want nothing more for them to play nicely without any trouble. But you get a knot on the 

head, discipline, and a tantrum instead.

Homework shouldn't be this hard, but you're mom so 'I'm going to make it harder on you than I do on the teacher'.

The gum smeared on your car was deliberate...

so was the urine...

as was the toy shoved down your shower drain....

so was the lost vacuum wand...

as was the broken picture frame and countless other broken/destroyed/scratched items.

The missing car keys? No, those were lost by you. But someone needed to confess to stealing/throwing them away to watch you frantically search and absorb all the negative attention possible. Negative attention reaps the same rewards as positive attention.

Sometimes you just want to have a nice conversation with your kid without studying their every word, thought, and intent. 

I forget what it's like to go to the bathroom without worrying about what they're doing as soon as I  leave the room. 

It would be nice to leave my purse on the kitchen table without a second thought. 

Sometimes you need them to shower like a normal human being, without a timer, without a countdown, actually cleaning themselves...

A visit to an arcade shouldn't have to involve prying your child from behind and underneath every machine in search of more coins/money.  

Birthday parties shouldn't hurt this much!  Neither should Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or Easter for that matter. You can forget about Mothers/Fathers day all together.

Summertime?  They just had to say 'goodbye' to more people they've grown to love and cherish on a daily basis at school.  Yeah, summertime equals out to more grief and loss.

Guilt looks like shit on a kid who's been adopted but has siblings still in care. 'Why did I get adopted and not them?  I'm nothing special...'

Guilt looks like shit on a kid who's never been given anything, because toys are now huge reminders of why they 'suck and don't deserve to be given nice things'.  Might as well destroy them too. 

'Oh I have a new Mom? Yeah, I had that nine other times before her.' Adopted? Forever you say?  PROVE IT.  No, better yet, I'm going to MAKE you prove it. 

Sometimes all you need is for them to open up and spill out the hurt. LAY IT ON ME! CRY! I'M A MOM! I CAN HANDLE IT! But sometimes anger and rage is the only avenue they know to use to communicate their hurts. Their anger? Ha! It's the epitome of UGLY.

Sometimes all you want is to have one day that's yours. One day to feel appreciated.  To feel loved. To feel special.  But no day is off limits, especially if it belongs to 'mom'.

Mothering the broken never rests. You carry their burdens 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are no weekends, vacations, or holidays, no sick time, no paid time off, and certainly no breaks, but the rewards, the rewards are endless. Every night my children sleep safe in the same bed, every homework assignment I help them with, every discipline they get dealt by me, every doctor visit I take them to, every teachers conference I attend, every time they cry to me, every day I listen to their disappointments, every day I listen to their dreams, every second I study them, every day I choose to be their forever mom, is another day closer to being healed and another dying statistic.