As I'm looking back to November when we first started this journey, I never truly realized how much of an emotional roller coaster this was going to be. Now that's not to be taken out of context because I don't regret it for one second. I wouldn't change anything about all of the LITERAL blood, sweat, and tears we've put in for this purpose, however, sometimes it gets incredibly difficult to sit and look at all of it as a whole. Just to give you an inkling of what I'm talking about, after all of the things we've been through over the last 4 months, we are currently on the cusp of getting to Step 4 of Gladney's 12 Step process. Yep, you heard right right...I said we are at the CUSP of Step F O U R meaning we are just now wrapping up Step 3! Only 9 more steps to go until we are deemed by the courts to be the parents of Boy Child [Insert Name Here]. See what I mean?! That's a lot to take in!! Meanwhile as we're closing the chapter on Step 3, I can't help but get butterflies in my stomach when I consider the gravity of Step 4. It's almost here and I just can't fathom it! Seriously all this week I have been waking up sometimes 2-3 hours too early thinking about all of the things we need to get done to move forward and it's literally killing me to have to be so patient these last few weeks until we make it there.
So what is Step 4? It's our Home Study; where Bobby and I will meet with a Gladney caseworker and discuss personal matters about our lives etc. and that in its self takes place over 2 meetings in a 6-7 hour time frame. What's the significance of Step 4? After we've completed the Home Study, Gladney will then take 6-12 more weeks to look over our entire file, complete with financial, medical, personal, and emotional records of Bobby and I and that's when they will determine whether we are going to move on to Step 5. Now Step 5 is the kicker too because it's where they will either Approve or Disapprove us based on everything they see. So to put it into perspective, everything we've done so far, EVERYTHING, is still pending approval. @_@ Now can you see why I'm losing sleep?! We are literally shaking in our boots! I just can't imagine going through all of this, with all of the hard work and invested emotions, and think that there is a 50/50 chance it could all end soon. Not that we couldn't handle it if for some reason we didn't make it because I know, though it would be very tough and heartbreaking, God would get us through it. But I can't afford to spend my time thinking about the "what if's" because I could totally be consumed by it. I just have to keep my eyes on what God promised me last September when I audibly heard His voice telling me I was going to have children very soon and that was well before we heard anything at all about the adoption program being started at my brothers church which in turn lead us to consider adopting. (Don't laugh, I'm dead serious.) Believe me when I say this, God is faithful and every time I've heard His voice in my life, which is countless in number, He has followed through. For those out there who knows Bobby, you have to understand that it was a miracle in its self that his heart would be open to adoption in the first place because we've casually discussed it in the past and he was always 100% against it. Yet after God told me that, this time around, his heart was completely open! So I don't doubt for one second that this is going to work out for us one way or another.
All in all, no matter what, we have to stay focused, stick together, and support each other because as we get further and further through this process, I can't imagine it getting any easier. And just so you know, most likely, neither of us will get any real rest until our son is home. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!
Hannah
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
The Month of Do
It's been about a month and a half since my last post but so much has gone on since then I felt like I needed to keep my mouth shut and focus on dealing with the goings on of the moment and moving to the next step in the process. Most of all, I literally didn't have time to put too much thought to everything let alone blog about it. Ha! But hey, I'm getting back on track.
Well for starters, February turned out to be the "Month of Do," because that's when the fire under our tail end seemed to be the hottest and everything we did was motivated by bringing our kiddo home the soonest. Bobby took an entire weeks vacation at the beginning of February so that he could get his physical and FBI fingerprinting done. That may not seem like a big deal, but Bobby had been dreading facing what the doctor might say for a long time and this was his time to face the music! Just to give you a little insight, for a little while now Bob has had some weird symptoms and we always joked about him having diabetes or something (yes we sort of have a sick sense of humor...lol) but he never really had the courage to go to the doc and get tested. When we decided to go through with the adoption journey and we found out that both of us would have to get a physical/doc would have to sign off on a document proclaiming he was a healthy individual, he immediately got nervous. Well when it came time to get his blood test results, lo and behold, the doc diagnosed him with Type 2 Diabetes and that's when it all began. The good thing about what his doc said was that he hadn't had it for very long and that if he got his weight/eating habits under control, he most likely be able to get rid of it. She also made it very clear that she would not fill out the adoption form until all his levels were within a normal range and from that point on, I got to witness just how determined he was and any question I had within me about his willingness to become a father was completely eliminated.
The first week after his diagnosis was really hard for him as he was emotional and on edge and it was really difficult to cope with this new lifestyle he was plunged into etc but he pressed forward anyway. On top of that, his medicine has some horrible side effects that he had to acclimate to but he made it through just fine. I hated that he had to go through all that but all I could do was support him as best I could and be there when he needed to talk about his frustrations. Since then, Bobby and I did a little bit of research and found out the things he can/shouldn't eat and he has stuck to it like a trooper. What was amazing was by the time he went back for a follow up visit, which was less than two weeks later, he had already lost 15lbs and his blood sugar was actually UNDER the goal she had for him! PRAISE GOD! Haha! Boy I never saw him so happy as that day when he came home to tell me those results and that she had filled out the paperwork and faxed it to Gladney! His doc actually put on his form, "Lost 15lbs in two weeks, I've never seen someone so motivated to get healthier for this process and he will make a great father!" I am so thankful to have such a good husband/future father of my children. Though one of us was given a healthy report and the other was diagnosed, when we look back on all of it, Bobby and I are thankful that everything is finally out in the open and it is being taken care of. Both of us have said that if everything falls through with the adoption (God forbid of course), at least it helped him to get real with himself. All in all, February brought a lot of different emotions; sadness, disappointment, frustration, anxiety, but above that, it brought more joy, happiness and relief. What a blessing!
So as of right now, we have completed everything we needed except for the fire/environmental inspections and also sending pics of our house/property. The only thing standing in the way of us doing those things is a few renovations we have to make on the house. Our nephew/roommate Austen is moving out on the 15th of this month and that's when we will start "nesting." (Weird to put it that way but it's the truth!) We are putting new carpet in our home and renovating the bedroom to make it fit for our son. After that, we will schedule our Home Study and will be considered WAITING PARENTS!! Omg, so close I can feel it!!! It makes my stomach so nervous just thinking about it. By this time next year we should have a little someone hanging on our legs and turning our lives upside down. Hahaha! I CAN'T WAIT!! Please keep us in your prayers, we will need all the prayers we can get to make it through the next couple of months.
Love always;
Hannah
Well for starters, February turned out to be the "Month of Do," because that's when the fire under our tail end seemed to be the hottest and everything we did was motivated by bringing our kiddo home the soonest. Bobby took an entire weeks vacation at the beginning of February so that he could get his physical and FBI fingerprinting done. That may not seem like a big deal, but Bobby had been dreading facing what the doctor might say for a long time and this was his time to face the music! Just to give you a little insight, for a little while now Bob has had some weird symptoms and we always joked about him having diabetes or something (yes we sort of have a sick sense of humor...lol) but he never really had the courage to go to the doc and get tested. When we decided to go through with the adoption journey and we found out that both of us would have to get a physical/doc would have to sign off on a document proclaiming he was a healthy individual, he immediately got nervous. Well when it came time to get his blood test results, lo and behold, the doc diagnosed him with Type 2 Diabetes and that's when it all began. The good thing about what his doc said was that he hadn't had it for very long and that if he got his weight/eating habits under control, he most likely be able to get rid of it. She also made it very clear that she would not fill out the adoption form until all his levels were within a normal range and from that point on, I got to witness just how determined he was and any question I had within me about his willingness to become a father was completely eliminated.
The first week after his diagnosis was really hard for him as he was emotional and on edge and it was really difficult to cope with this new lifestyle he was plunged into etc but he pressed forward anyway. On top of that, his medicine has some horrible side effects that he had to acclimate to but he made it through just fine. I hated that he had to go through all that but all I could do was support him as best I could and be there when he needed to talk about his frustrations. Since then, Bobby and I did a little bit of research and found out the things he can/shouldn't eat and he has stuck to it like a trooper. What was amazing was by the time he went back for a follow up visit, which was less than two weeks later, he had already lost 15lbs and his blood sugar was actually UNDER the goal she had for him! PRAISE GOD! Haha! Boy I never saw him so happy as that day when he came home to tell me those results and that she had filled out the paperwork and faxed it to Gladney! His doc actually put on his form, "Lost 15lbs in two weeks, I've never seen someone so motivated to get healthier for this process and he will make a great father!" I am so thankful to have such a good husband/future father of my children. Though one of us was given a healthy report and the other was diagnosed, when we look back on all of it, Bobby and I are thankful that everything is finally out in the open and it is being taken care of. Both of us have said that if everything falls through with the adoption (God forbid of course), at least it helped him to get real with himself. All in all, February brought a lot of different emotions; sadness, disappointment, frustration, anxiety, but above that, it brought more joy, happiness and relief. What a blessing!
So as of right now, we have completed everything we needed except for the fire/environmental inspections and also sending pics of our house/property. The only thing standing in the way of us doing those things is a few renovations we have to make on the house. Our nephew/roommate Austen is moving out on the 15th of this month and that's when we will start "nesting." (Weird to put it that way but it's the truth!) We are putting new carpet in our home and renovating the bedroom to make it fit for our son. After that, we will schedule our Home Study and will be considered WAITING PARENTS!! Omg, so close I can feel it!!! It makes my stomach so nervous just thinking about it. By this time next year we should have a little someone hanging on our legs and turning our lives upside down. Hahaha! I CAN'T WAIT!! Please keep us in your prayers, we will need all the prayers we can get to make it through the next couple of months.
Love always;
Hannah
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