On the way to Equine Therapy today, Noah saw an ATV on a trailer and that caused him to start recalling a lot of things from a home he lived at while in foster care. Being that this is not something he ever does, it caused Asher and I to listen very attentively. After he finished talking, Asher said, "Well I don't remember anything really..." and I said, "Yes, you do remember things, you've told me before, about when you went back to live with your bio-mom." After that, he whispered to himself, "Well I don't want to think about that." Realizing it was bothering him, I said, "I understand, but you do remember, though." He then said, "Yeah but I don't want those memories, I want all new memories. I want all the bad memories to go away and the good ones to stay." At that point I didn't really know what to say, but then it occurred to me to tell him, "Well you're in luck because you have an amazing brain that records new memories every single day! Not to mention, sometimes those bad memories can help you learn how to stay out of trouble, so we can appreciate them even though something bad happened, good can come out of it too."
Gosh it really hurt my heart to hear that his beginning is still so painful, that he doesn't even want to remember it. But, I know that there will come a time when their good memories will outnumber the bad. I realize their past will always be apart of who they are, but I am hopeful that one day, the good, bad, and ugly will all be able to coexist in harmony, instead of creating more fear and sadness.
I know it's been over a year already, but please keep my family in your prayers. Thanks.
