In October we went to a match event in San Antonio where we met and interacted with some very adorable children. Two of them were our top priority and we felt like we "found the ones!" However, so many times on this journey feelings can get overwhelming and what you thought was perfection ends up distorted and you start to feel like you don't know anymore. Let me explain. Exactly two weeks and two days after we met these two angels in San Antonio, their caseworker responded with news that they were displaying some "behaviors" and "a judge ordered that they not be placed until they are stabilized" which was left without an expected assessment date nor a promise of any amount of time at which they would be available again, and that raised more questions than anything! By this point we were already discouraged because she'd not so much as responded to any of my caseworkers attempts to contact her about the boys so when we got this bit of info., we knew we had to get some answers quickly. As emotionally invested as we already were, Bobby and I knew that it would be really hard to move forward not knowing if she was being truthful, because lets face it our broken system doesn't typically work that quickly and one just doesn't get before a judge within two weeks. Not only that, if she was being truthful, what behaviors?! I mean one would think, and I'm speaking from experience because we've had this happen before, that she would AT LEAST send us a small summary on the boys so we could determine if we wanted to wait until they were "available" again or if we should move on because that is a valid option even if they aren't readily available for adoption. BUT NO they were "no longer available for adoption" and that was it. So of course me being the person that I am, the person that God created me to be, THE HARD ASS, booked a flight to San Antonio that leaves on Tuesday so I could be present at an event that I know their caseworker will be attending for National Adoption Month to finally get some answers. ; )
So, I booked my non-refundable flight last Friday and by Tuesday I had a message from my caseworker saying that we had been chosen to be in a selection staffing for two other boys by a different San Antonio caseworker at 4:30pm that afternoon and we were officially selected as the chosen family for those boys by Thursday. So what that means is that the ball is in our court so to speak and if we want to adopt them, all we have to do is obtain the file (could take 2wks to 5 mo. to get -_-), look through their file and say "yes." Needless to say I was shocked yet honored that she considered/selected us but it also left me confused asking God why he led me to book that flight if this was coming to fruition as well. Now when I say that God led me to do this, I'm really not joking. Bobby and I prayed and prayed for two weeks straight after the San Antonio match event for the first two boys for their safety and for an answer from their caseworker and I asked God numerous times if I should go to the event and every time He said yes and that He would provide the money for me to do so AND HE DID. I am still 100% unsure as to why I'm going but I know that God has the answer to that and will reveal it to me at some point. The obvious good things that could come out of this trip are that I get to speak with the original two boys caseworker and see what those "behaviors" are and if she's even being truthful about the situation, and I will get another opportunity to speak with the other caseworker more in depth about the two boys we've been selected for. I'm excited to go on this trip but on the other hand I'm nervous because this will be the 1st time that Bobby and I have been apart for a night since we've been married and it is also the 1st time I will be by myself in another city but I'm sure I'll be okay.
I have to tell you though, for my believing friends out there, since we returned from the San Antonio match event, it seems like all hell has broken loose around us and that could only mean one thing-we're getting close! : ) For those of you who aren't familiar with what I'm talking about, the Bible clearly states in John 10:10 (and numerous other verses) that the thief (the devil) comes to "steal, kill, and destroy." You see, we were created in God's image so he hates every human being and wants to destroy everything he can get a hold of, especially those who love God. So because Bobby and I have been called according to Gods purpose to serve the orphan, the closer we get to carrying that out the more the enemy will try to stop us. But despite all that, we're staying encouraged because God has promised us children and has equipped us with the knowledge of how to stay grounded and protected. Like Paul in Philippians 4, we have to learn to be "content in every situation and be anxious for nothing!" No matter how hard we're being hit financially, or if our dog was poisoned and had to be put to sleep (which he was), if we are met with health problems in our families, if we are persecuted on our jobs, NO MATTER HOW BLEAK it gets, we have to trust God and be content! We KNOW we're doing the right thing not only because serving the orphan is a biblical commandment but if we weren't doing what God wants, the enemy wouldn't be trying so damn hard to destroy our journey. You see, if he can't stop you in your tracks, he'll make sure to put as many potholes in the road as possible to steal your joy and make you want to quit. But quitting is NOT an option.
In the meantime please pray for where we're at right now and say a prayer that I'll have a good trip in San Antonio.
