On the morning of our home study Bobby and I both woke up early and got our butts in gear. We were able to eat some of our breakfast but both of us struggled to eat because our stomach's were in knots! The funny thing is after we left, the closer we got to the agency the worse it got and by the time we pulled into the parking lot, our hearts were pounding. When we got to the door, I looked at him and said, "I really think we should say a prayer together before we go in" and he agreed so we took each others hands and said a quick prayer right there on the front porch. Once we did that it seemed like the nervousness backed off a little bit and we were no longer as flustered. What's crazy is the moment we stepped inside it's like we both came to the realization of just how magical this place was and immediately felt blessed and humbled that Gladney was going to be a part of our lives forever. Gladney is a place with 125 years of history in Texas and it has seen so many stories of pain, heartache, joy, and laughter that those feelings and emotions are knitted into it's very atmosphere. This is a place where women of older era's could/would go to live and have their babies in support and privacy; safe from the outside world that would ridicule them and refuse to accept their baby out of wedlock. Those valiant women would carry their child to term only to bless it with a new family and give another woman the opportunity to be a mother. To us, Gladney is a place that is giving our child a new beginning and who is also walking with and supporting us every step of the way.
As our case worker came down the long stair case, she smiled and said, "Are you nervous yet?" and of course Bobby and I both laughed anxiously and said, "YES" in unison. She smiled a little bit and quickly quenched our nervousness with her laughter. It was nice to know that she understood! She led us to the counseling center where they meet with children/parents and brought us to a room with a big comfy couch and a few chairs etc. that was neatly decorated. After we set down she explained what was to happen during the interview and we began. Our joint interview was first and lasted all of 4 hours. We talked about and elaborated on our marriage, our families, the child(ren) we desired to adopt and she answered so many of our questions. We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more, and we had her laughing as well. There were also moments of quietness met with a few tears when she would bring up tough subjects about abuse and neglect and what our kiddo might have gone through. All in all, she was extremely easy to talk to and we found ourselves being completely honest with each question we answered. She didn't seem to have one single judgmental bone in her body and no matter how crazy/weird some of our answers were, it didn't seem to effect her one way or the other. As the the morning turned into the afternoon we were both already so tired but were only three fourths of the way through. Once our joint interview was finished it was time for the one on one's and Bobby volunteered to go first. When I left the room I had to get something to snack on since the breakfast I had was meager to say the least. I had time to eat in the car and go inside to snap a few pics before he came out and said it was my turn. When she called me into the room, I was no longer nervous and was ready to get the show on the road; after all, I couldn't imagine what else she wanted to talk about as we had already said so much. Ha! During my personal interview we discussed my health and my strengths/weaknesses as well as asking me about my opinion of Bobby's. We talked about the abuse I faced as a child and how I was able to resolve that and that's when the tears flowed again. I felt blessed to be able to tell her about how I came to a place where I could accept it and forgive my abuser and move on. For the most part it was pretty intense but before I knew it, we were finished and were on our way out the door.
Once we left we both agreed to get some lunch as we were nothing short of starving. We thought we'd sit over lunch and discuss the goings on of the day but we were both surprisingly quiet and in deep thought. To be honest, I couldn't imagine myself uttering another word after talking for five and a half hours. Upon arriving home, I was so exhausted all I could think about was climbing into bed! Though that was probably the best three hour nap I have had in a long time, when I woke up I was still drained and that in its self seemed to last for about two days after our home study. Bobby said he felt the exact same way and the only thing we could attribute our exhaustion to was the emotional roller coaster we had just gotten off of. All in all we are so glad to have that behind us.
As for the walk-through of our home, we were again met with some nervousness but her visit lasted all of about thirty minutes and she was out the door. All she did was ask a few questions and asked for a tour. She complimented our home and didn't seem the least bit concerned at all about the environment we have prepared for our kid(s). Bobby himself said her walk-through was way less of a big deal than he made it up to be but was also glad for that as well. So from this point on, all we can do is wait. She's got everything she needs from us and now the ball is in her court to type up our family report and get it ready for the Approval Coordinator that reads and approves/disapproves the families for the matching stage.
Bobby and I are welcoming the break we are getting for the next couple of months and feel like we should plan a weekend trip somewhere to get away and spend some time with each other. Any suggestion as to where would be nice. Ha! Just you know, since so many have asked, we still have no idea how long it's going to be until we have our kiddo home with us but at least we are on our way to finding him. : ) Thanks for all of your love and support!
Hannah
